Most people aren’t going to want to hear this, but here goes. You can’t change. You can try. Just don’t expect it to work out.

When I was younger, I used to believe that people could change everything about themselves if they just tried. After years of watching the people around me, some whom I love very much, and others who are just acquaintances, not to mention all that I know about myself, I’ve concluded that people can’t change those things about themselves that make them who they are—the procrastinator, the excitable talker, the whiner. You see, these characteristics are driven by personality traits. As a procrastinator, every time you complete a goal or task, you’ve overcome procrastination—but you’re still a procrastinator, otherwise you wouldn’t have to work to overcome procrastination. You haven’t changed. You’ve only changed an event.

I procrastinate. I’ve always been a procrastinator and despite the years of trying to change that, I’ve never been able to shift my fundamental underlying personality traits that make me such a powerful procrastinator.

I have, however, concluded that there are ways to adjust yourself to your own personal weaknesses so that they no longer affect you negatively. Quit trying to change yourself. Change the world around you to suit yourself.

You have to find a very specific method that fits exactly to your own procrastination problems. It also helps if you determine the underlying issues that cause your procrastination. This can be harder than it sounds. Most of the time, you procrastinate on each item or task for a highly specific reason.

I used to have serious issues with keeping up with my bills. Most of the time I paid on time, but usually at the very last minute and only after I spent days and even weeks worrying whether or not my bills were due. The whole process of paying bills kept my anxiety levels on a constant roller coaster of highs and lows. I hated the process. Once or twice I had to pay a late fee on something for the simple reason that I didn’t know the bill was due. I had the money, but I wasn’t paying the bills.

I had an inbox, just a simple wire basket that I still use today—in a slightly modified manner but I’ll talk about that more later. This inbox was overflowing with mail and bills. I didn’t separate these items because I fully intended to throw out most of the mail when I opened the bills. I never did. My bills had become part of a larger problem. To “do the bills”, I had to do the mail, which I hated dealing with. I also keep an electronic checkbook, and before I could pay the bills, I had to enter checks that I’d written and receipts that I’d collected.

I recognized that I was always afraid that something was already overdue, so I didn’t want to look. I didn’t want to confirm my fears. I’m the ever hopeful person. My philosophy has always been that if you haven’t quit trying, you haven’t failed. If you don’t look at the due date, it might not be overdue.

Then one day I read a book. David Allen’s Getting Things Done never addressed bills (that I recall), but it did talk about organizational methods and gave directions on changing your mindset. Nothing else in the book has ever made a difference in my life, except for the one folder I created when I finished the book.

I labeled my folder “Bills To Pay.” Although the book never specifically told me to do this, I had an epiphany as I was reading. If my bills were in a folder, opened, organized by due date, and waiting for me, I would always be able to tell if anything was overdue simply by looking at the one bill on top. I didn’t have to look at every bill and I didn’t have to sort my mail.

This one thing changed my life. I received a bill, I threw out the envelope and I stuck it in the folder, always keeping the bill due the soonest on top. I never had to worry about due dates again simply because every time I got a bill, I had the chance to see when my next bill was due—all without having to actually go looking for the information. It just presented itself naturally when I put my bills in my folder.

I didn’t change; I only changed the way I presented my environment to myself. I still have a pile of mail in my inbox. In fact, as I look at it now, I feel nothing. Without bills in the pile, I have no reason whatsoever to be concerned with when or if I ever get around to opening, sorting, and discarding the mail that’s there. There’s no worry associated with the pile and there’s no pressing need to overcome my urge to procrastinate with respect to that pile.

Don’t be discouraged just because you probably aren’t ever going to stop procrastinating.

How can you change your life if you cannot change?

You start by asking yourself a lot of questions and being honest with the answers. If you have problems with something, how should you solve the problem? Would you follow through if you actually attempted that solution? Probably—or probably not? What is the simplest way to solve the problem? When the answer is simple, and yet you can’t bring yourself to do it, then you know there’s a bigger issue buried there somewhere. You’re going to have to try to bring it to the surface. Once you know the reason, you can try to find the easiest way to work around the issue.

When I created my “Bills To Pay” folder, I canceled all my online only statements and billing so that I would have my reminder statement to put in my folder. That made my system complete. My folder includes all my bills, and when they’ve been paid I take them out. Then, I don’t even have to bother with my filing if I’d rather put that off until later. If the bill isn’t in the “Bills To Pay” folder, it’s irrelevant.

If you want to stop procrastinating, you have to change something. Since changing yourself probably isn’t going to work, figure out what you can change.